I am missing you. I miss you every day, all year around but I miss you even more right now (is that even possible?) We went to see Zara perform in her school play today. You would have loved it.
Zayah was clapping her hands with the cheesiest smile on her face and it made our experience even more amazing. Your little sisters first ever school play! Zara was a sheep and what a cute little sheep she is, she did amazing! The tears streamed down my face as I watched the year 1 and 2s sing and dance on the stage. How I wish that could have been you too. I don’t cry often but it hit me like a tonne of bricks today. I wish you were here to get excited about that pesky elf every morning and jump up and down waiting for me to get your advent calendar. I wish you were here to give me a list of all the gifts mummy and daddy can’t afford. Or the gifts I’d rather not get as they’ll stick on the carpet but buy them anyway. I wish you were here with us thinking you’ve heard tinsel the reindeer on the roof just like Zara. I wish you could be here so I can make you sit through all of the Santa Claus movies and decorate the gingerbread house with your sisters. It’s a tradition. I bought you a mini Christmas tree for your grave and hopefully we can visit you before the big day. We’ve hung your ornaments our tree at home. Your sisters have pulled them down numerous times (mainly Zayah, she’s a little monkey)
I find myself having to defend my grief for you to some people and I shouldn’t even have to. I only miss you because I love you and I will love you forever.
mummy x x x